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A Forced Friendship 






ert C. V. Meyers 



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A Forced Friendship 



A Farce in One Act 



By Robert C. V. Meyers 

cAuihor of "cA Lady's Note/' *'Tell Your Wife," etc. 




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• • • 



A Forced Friendship 



A Forced Friendship 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Horace Fenchurch, . -- . who rents apartments. 
Gallop, ....... his man. 

Alicia Merrivale, . . who also refits apartmettts. 
Ernestine, her maid. 



COSTUMES 



Fenchurch. High silk hat. Tail coat. Gray trousers. 
Gallop. Brown suit. Bald wig. 
Alicia. Pretty visiting toilette with gay hat. 
Ernestine. Plain stuff frock and bonnet. 



PROPERTIES 



Dress suit case ; small silk bag containing photograph ; 
poker tied with ribbon ; bed slat. 

Time in Representation, Twenty-five minutes. 



A Forced Friendship 



SCENE. — Well-furnished parlor with doors ^ c. and L., 
window R., with lace curtains draped with wide pink rib- 
bons. Table ifi front, c. A number of dainty girlish 
furbishings scattered around, cushions, baskets, and the 
like. Poker with ribbon on it ?tear l. entrance. Noise 
of pounding on door c. , ivhich is closed. Door suddenly 
opens, and in tumbles Fenchurch, followed by Gallop, 
who carries suit case. 

Fenchurch. Key broken off in the lock. A wtw lock 
put on the door during my absence of a week ; what does it 
mean ? I shall see the janitor about it. {^Looks around. 
Rubs his eyes. ) And this room furbished up with nonsen- 
sical trappings ! The janitor must have softening of the 
brain. Such silly things to put into a man's parlor. Ho, 
Gallop ! 

Gallop (tvho has placed suit case in front of door, l.). 
Yes, sir. 

Fenchurch. Take those ribbons off the window cur- 
tains. Throw all these cushions and things into my bed- 
room, and afterward pitch them into the janitor's rooms. 
(Gallop does as ordered, shoving suit case into entrance, l.) 
But I haven't a minute, I am late now for my walk. I shall 
try to meet the lovely creature I saw on the train. Let me 
brush my hair. 

(^Exit Fenchurch, l.) 

Gallop. Such a life as I've led since he saw that girl in 
the car a week ago. Love at first sight, is it ? And he has 
traced her to this city, then lost her in a big department 
store. My poor old legs won't stand much more. 

Fenchurch (within). Ho, Gallop ! 

Gallop. Now he wants me to brush his coat. My old 

5 



6 A FORCED FRIENDSHIP 

arms are worn out making him beautiful for a girl he does 
not know. 

Fenchurch. Ho, Gallop ! 

Gallop. Ho, Gallop ! As though I were an old horse. 
Coming, sir, coming. 

(^Exit Gallop, l. ) 

(^Enter Ernestine, c, with silk bag.) 

Ernestine (^placi?ig bag o?i table). Very odd that I for- 
got to close the door when I went out. No wonder I forget 
things, rushed from place to place as I am. This comes of 
being maid to a lady who travels a hundred miles for the 
opera season here. And why couldn't we go to a hotel ? 
But, no. Miss Alicia says an apartment is better for us till 
her father arrives. Thank goodness he comes to-night. 
Now to bring lier liome from the opera matinee, after I've 
shopped for her all the morning. Oh, dear ! 

(^Exit Ernestine, c.) 

{Enter Fenchurch, i.., piitti?ig on gloves.) 

Fenchurch. I will walk the streets till I drop for the 
mere possibility of finding her. There must be some way 
of becoming acquainted with her. Ah, there goes a glove ! 
Ho, (iallop ! 

Gallop (l.). Yes, sir. 

Femchurch. a fresh pair of gloves from my suit case. 
{Exit Gallop.) I am so agitated I even split my gloves. 
Ah, my little charmer, whom I saw first on the train, what 
a dance you are leading me ! But such eyes ! Such a 
cupid-bow mouth ! Such an appealing manner ! 

Gallop (l.). The gloves, sir. 

Fenchurch. I'll put them on in the elevator. {Hurry- 
ing c.) 

Gallop. If you please, sir. 

Fenchurch. Well ? 

Gallop. Have you forgotten the silk bag ? 

Fenchurch. What silk bag? 

Gallop {at table). This one, sir. 

Fenchurch. That's no bag of mine. 

Gallop. It's in your apartment, sir. 

Fenchurch. Loosen the drawing string and see what's 
in it. 



A FORCEt) FRIENDSHIP • ^ 

Gallop (taking articles from bag). Opera books, marked 
''Alicia Merrivale." Two bottles of violet water. A box 
of caramels. One pair long white gloves. One pair long 
white silk 

Fenchurch. Put the things in the bag again. There is 
some mistake. Take the bag to the janitor. 

(iS'jc// Fenchurch, c.) 

Gallop. Yes, I will. But I'll rest my old legs first. 
There's something queer about that janitor — putting ribbons 
and things all about our rooms, then leaving a silk bag here 
that doesa't belong to us. But I must unpack the suit case. 
No rest for my poor old legs. 

(Exit Gallop, l.) 

(^Enter, c, Alicia, closing door after her.) 

Alicia. How careless of Ernestine to leave the door 
open. And my bag with the dear opera librettos in it here, 
too ! And look at the curtains — not looped back, and all 
rumpled ! And where has Ernestine put all my cushions ? 
But those curtains ! (Arranging the?n, gets back of them, 
when Gallop enters, l., and picks tip bag.) 

Gallop. Now for Mr. Janitor. 

(Exit Gallop, c.) 

Alicia (front of curtains). That is better. I cannot 
understand what Ernestine means by this. And where is 
my silk bag? (Hand to hMd.) Am I sure it was on the 
table? That man I saw on the train and who has been fol- 
lowing me has put everything out of my head. I am glad 
papa comes this evening. But he was such a nice looking 
fellow, surely a gentleman. 

(Enter Ernestine, c.) 

Ernestine. Oh, miss, they say there is no opera matinee 
— you told me to come after you there. 

Alicia. Pardon me, Ernestine. I must have forgotten 
what I was saying to you in that store. I saw the man who 
I feel confident followed us there and I was confused. Now 
I want to try on my new white gloves and read the libretto 
of to-morrow's opera. 



8 • A FORCED FRIENDSHIP 

Ernestine. Why, miss, I put the bag that had them in 

on this table. And {^Gazhig around?) Why, what 

ails this room ? 

Alicia. What have you done with my cushions and 
pretty things ? Nothing left but that poker with the ribbon 
on it. 

Ernestine. I never touched them. 

Alicia. And the door was open when I came in. 

Ernestine. It was open when I came in. 

Alicia (/« alarm'). We have been robbed. Call the 
janitor. 

Ernestine. Robbed ! Come to the janitor. 

Alicia. My gowns in the next room ! Come, we must 
investigate and see what else is taken. 

(Exeunt Alicia and Ernestine, l. ) 

{Enter Fenchurch, c.) 

Fenchurch. I am positive I saw her enter this house. 
Oh, bliss ! Oh, rapture ! She may be a neighbor of mine. 
I have found her, I have found her. (^Sitting at table.) The 
beauty of the thing, the romance of it ! I see her, I am en- 
raptured, I follow her, I lose her, I find her, I (Sinks 

into reverie. Enter l., Ernestine who sees him, gives a 
cry and exits l.) Eh! Did I hear anything? No, it is 
my mind. And she is residing here, or at all events visiting 
or calling ! Joy — ^joy ! 

[Enter Gallop with bag, c.) 

Gallop. My poor old legs ! The janitor is out, I can't 
find him. This fell out of the bag, sir. [Holding out pho- 
tograph.) 

Fenchurch (^glancing at photo. , starting up and grasping 
it). It is she ! It is she ! Then the bag is very likely 
hers. Her name is Alicia Merrivale. Heavenly name — 
Alicia. '' Merrivale " is not so good, but that can be altered. 
(^Gazes at picture and pockets it.) Give me the bag, I will 
restore it to its owner. 

{Exit Fenchurch, c, with bag.) 

Gallop. Of all the idiots in the world, commend me to 
the man just fresh in love. {Lights cigar.) He won't be 
back soon. I'll give my old legs a rest. {Sits at table 



A FORCED FRIENDSHIP 9 

and takes paper from his pocket?) Not even a chance to 
look at the morning paper yet. And half dead for sleep. 
(^Reads.) ''City infested by burglars. Gang of female 
housebreakers discovered." Well, let 'em burgle. (^Yawns.) 
"Stocks and bonds." Bonds! Bonds of matrimony — 
bonds (^Cigar falls to floor. He dozes.') 

(^Enter Ernestine «;z^ Alicia, l.) 

Ernestine. There he is, miss, there is the wretch. 
But — oh, Miss Alicia, it is not the same man. 

Alicia. What do you mean ? 

Ernestine. There must be two of them. {Running 
offc.) • 

Alicia. To leave me alone ! (^Trips over chair. 
Gallop looks around, jumps up and confronts her.) 

Gallop {in front of her). Young lady, what do you 
mean by coming out of that room ? 

Alicia. Let me go ! 

Gallop. Let you go ? I believe you are one of the 
female housebreakers the paper speaks about. 

Alicia. Let me go ! 

{He makes a move toward her, ivhen she runs into room, 
L., slanmiing the door after her.) 

Gallop {placing chair in fro fit of door and seating him- 
self on it). There you stay, my lady, till Mr. Fenchurch 
comes back. My old legs are feeling better already. This 
is one of my good days. Fenchurch will give me a fiver 
for this. 

Ernestine {calling off q.). Miss! Miss! 

{Enter Ernestine, c.) 

Gallop. What do you want, ma'am ? 

Ernestine. I — I can't find the janitor. I wish to see 
the lady here — I am her companion. 

Gallop {catching her by the arm). So there are two of 
you. Maybe the whole gang's here. In you go with her. 
{Pushing her in l., a7id reseating himself.) This is two 
days' work, a tenner in my pocket. 

{Enter Fenchurch with bag, c.) 

Fenchurch. The janitor is out, and I can get no 
information regarding her, \ can't make my inquiries too 



10 A FORCED FRIENDSHIP 

public. And I nearly lost myself. Every apartment here 
is like all the others — I've been pounding on the door the 
second below here thinking it was mine. Ho, Gallop ! 
Here, lock this bag up. Take precious care of it. 

Gallop. Sorry, sir, but 1 can't rise. I've got 'em. 

Fenchurch. Got what? — another attack of your 
rheumatism? 

Gallop. A pair of thieves, sir; they're in the other 
room, two female women burglars such as I read about in 
the paper. 

Fenchurch. Burglars ? 

Gallop. Caught 'em in this room. Will you go for 
the police, sir? 

Fenchurch. Two burglars, and so near Alicia ! Sup- 
pose they had robbed her ! No, Gallop, I will watch them 
— it will be almost like protecting Alicia. The janitor may 
have returned. Bring him here, (^jc// Gallop, c.) To 
think of Alicia being near burglars of her own sex. 
(^Takes bag and presses it to his face.) Oh, Alicia! 
Alicia ! 

Alicia {at door l.). His back is to us. Let us escape. 

Ernestine (l.). That's the other one — there are two 
of them. 

Alicia {iioticing Fenchurch who has partly turned'). 
Oh — oh ! Ernestine, it is he — the man who noticed me on 
the train. 

{Reenters Alicia, l.) 

Fenchurch {turning and seeing Ernestine). Villain ! 

Ernestine. Villain, yourself ! I want that bag. 

Fenchurch. A hold up, is it? Creature, this bag 
belongs to some one dear to me. Only murder relieves me 
of it. 

Ernestine. I want that bag, and I will have it. 

Fenchurch. Into that room again. You will shortly 
see the inside of a jail. To take this bag of all others. In, 
I say. (Ernestine retreats l., crying.) Such a chance ! 
I rescue Alicia's bag — the police publish it in the papers — I 
get acquainted with Alicia. Oh, joy ! Oh, rapture ! 

(Gallop rushes in, c.) 

Gallop. Put down that bag. We are in a terrible 
mess, The janitor has returned and he's coming up^ 



A FORCED FRIENDSHIP II 

This is not our apartment — ours is the second door down 
the corridor, 

Fenchurch, The door I pounded on just now? And I 
broke into this room ? But what do I care ! I have 
rescued this bag from a band of female burglars and I shall 
get acquainted with Alicia ! 

Ernestine {door i..'). Fire! Murder! Thieves! Oh, 
we are two defenseless women. ( Oji her knees.') Spare us ! 

Fenchurch. Girl, there has been an unfortunate mis- 
take here. I will explain later on — after I have seen the 
janitor. 

Gallop. And I will get your suit case, sir. (^Going 

L.) 

Ernestine {on feet). You shall not enter that room. 
My young lady is there. Thieves ! Fire ! Murder ! 

Fenchurch. Come, Gallop, we must see the janitor 
and explain. 

Ernestine. Drop that bag — drop that bag. 

Fenchurch. I will restore it to the lady to whom 
it belongs. 

Ernestine. It belongs to my young lady, Miss Alicia 
Merrivale. 

Fenchurch {dropping bag and fa/ltjtg /imply into 
Gallop's arms). And I have done this thing ! 

Ernestine. You bold bad men, you. [Gets poker.) 
Miss Alicia, don't be afraid. Come out, I've got 'em. 

Alicia (l., brandishing bed slat, which she drops when 
she sees Fenchurch). He a burglar ! Impossible ! Oh 1 
oh! 

Fenchurch. Madame — Miss Merrivale. 

Alicia. How dare you speak my name, sir ? 

Fenchurch. It is all a mistake. My apartment is the 
second from this. I entered this room thinking it my own. 

Alicia. I — I knew he could not be a burglar, Ernes- 
tine. Oh, dear ! {Hand to heart.) 

Ernestine. But who threw all our pretty things into 
the next room along with a suit case to carry them off in ? 

Gallop. I did. Mr. Fenchurch thought the janitor 
had put them in our apartment while we were away. 

Alicia {to Fenchurch). And you have shadowed me 
for days, sir. 

Fenchurch. Ever since I saw you on the train. I could 
not help myself. 



.12 A FORCED FRIENDSHIP 

Ernestine. And you really are not burglars? 

Gallop. No more than you are, 

Alicia. Mr. Fenchurch, this is all preposterous. 

Fenchurch. It is, it is ! May I hope 

Alicia. Nothing. 

Fenchurch. In that silk bag where I found your name 
was this also. {Taking photograph.') 

Alicia. My photograph ! Let me have it. 

Fenchurch {keeping photograph). May I not call this 
evening and explain more fully? 

Ernestine. Your father comes this evening, miss. 

Fenchurch. May I call then and tell your father how I 
came by this photograph ? 

Alicia {reflectively). Your intentions were good — you 
thought you were protecting me from burglars, I am sure 
papa will like to thank you. {Giving him her hand.) 

Gallop. This is living in apartments ! My poor old 
heart ! {Throwing kisses at Ernestine who menaces him 
with poker. ) 

curtain 



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